Saturday, February 4, 2012

Not of My Own Accord

Left to my own accord, I would not be going through an emotionally exhausting, financially taxing adoption right now.

Left to my own accord, I would not be actively seeking to bring a child with physical difficulties into our home.

Left to my own accord, I would not be bringing home a child who will most likely have some level of difficulty attaching emotionally to our family.

Left to my own accord, I would be pregnant by now. We would be looking at bringing home a child who would have been cared for the minute she or he was conceived. We would be bringing a child who would be loved and would attach easily. She or he would be in our arms from the moment she or he entered the world and would not know any of the heartaches of growing up in an orphanage. She or he would not have been left on a doorstep of an orphanage or a hospital. It would be different if it were just up to me.

Thank goodness it is not. God has a plan for our lives and He has been revealing bits and pieces of His plan along this crazy road called life. He has been softening our hearts for years. He has been putting people in our lives who have encouraged us down this road. He has been providing the means to make this adoption possible. God has been orchestrating this adoption just as He orchestrates every detail of our lives. He is the One stretching us and molding us into these people we are today.

This is why it is so difficult for me to respond to these responses we have been getting lately. “Wow! You are so brave!” “I could never do what you are doing.” “You are doing such an amazing thing!” When I talk to Christians, a simple “We are doing what God has called us to do” will often suffice. It is harder to give a simple answer to non-Christians. I have been praying a lot that God will give me the right words to point people away from us and to Him. The important thing we want people to know is that we are nothing without Him and left to our own accord, we would not be going outside our comfort zone.