Now She is Ours

This post is very long, so here is advanced warning.  It covers two days and our days right now are full! 

Sometimes we look back at a specific time in our life and we realize that time was a turning point in our lives.  That it was a point in time which changed who we would become as people.  For us as Christians, the most major turning point was when we accepted Christ as our Savior.  After that, many turning points coincide with large life changes.  For me, getting married and giving birth to my two oldest children were all life changing events.  The entire process of our adoption is definitely a life changing event and it is stretching and changing who we are as people.

Yesterday, we finalized the adoption of our Norah at the Civil Affairs Office in Taiyuan.  The night before was very rough.  Our tears mingled with hers as she cried hysterically and the reality of what we are doing finally set in.  We wanted desperately to explain why she was with us and could not.  In the morning though, she was happy and very chatty.  We have been told that nap and night time is the worse and that is certainly proving to be true.

The Civil Affairs Office where we first met Norah and where we finalized her adoption.

Here Norah is signing the adoption document with her hand print.  She is agreeing to become ours even though she doesn't know it.  

I wonder if she would look less happy if she knew what had just happened.  After they process the paperwork, she will legally be our daughter!  Now we are officially parents to three beautiful girls.

Norah loves her baba which is dada in Chinese.  Again, we have been told that children often attach to just one parent and Norah is definitely a daddy’s girl. 

We went swimming and she is a little fish.  She seemed to be familiar with the water.  She moved her arms and kicked her feet like she had been shown how to kick and stroke.  Our guide said it was very unlikely she had ever been in a pool before, but who knows for sure.

This pool had windows below.  It would be awkward to lose the bottoms of your suit in this pool!

Today, we went to the orphanage and met the foster family.  We get the feeling that this was an unusual privilege and we are very grateful for the opportunity.  It was an emotionally draining experience, but not one I would change for the world.

On the way, we passed the Taiyuan Iron Hospital where Norah was found on the first floor.  She was found with no note on her at approximately eleven days.  It is possible her parents were workers in the iron mill as we passed through the iron milling district soon after.

Then, we arrived at the Taiyuan Institute of Children Welfare (top picture and to the right) where Norah was taken after she was found.  Their motto is “Life starts from here” which appears to be true.  We met several directors and social workers who work very hard to place each child into a family and to care for their needs while they are in the orphanage.


Chris and Norah stayed in the car in order to avoid meeting the foster mom and going back to square one.  When I walked into the meeting room, the foster mom was there sobbing her heart out.  I sat down and we talked through our tears.  Her eighteen year old son had come as well and he was also crying (although trying to hide it).  This family loved and cared for her from February 2011 until she came into our care on August 5, 2013.

The foster mother gave me many pieces of advice regarding Norah.  Through her sobs, she told me to make sure to wake up Norah in the night if I gave her water before bed.  She said Norah need a stuffed animal to sleep with and she brought one of her teddy bears from home.  She said to Norah was a very good girl and only needed to be told one time not to do something and she would listen.  She also said Norah was strong and healthy and did not get cold (this indicates health in the Chinese culture).  She told me to make sure Norah had all her favorite foods and gave me a bag of boiled corn on the cob because she said it was Norah’s favorite. 

Through our translator, I told the foster mom that she and her whole family were Qian Qian’s first family and that we would always be grateful for the unconditional love they gave her.  I told her that it is because of them our daughter is the healthy, smart, funny girl she is today.  We gave her a jade family ball that symbolizes interlocking family generations.  I told her our families would always be interlocked because of this little girl.  I promised we would love Norah with all our hearts and give her the best care.  I also promised that we would not let Norah forget her first family.

With the foster brother and mother

The family wants very badly to stay in contact.  While we were talking, the son’s phone rang and he handed it to me.  It was the oldest daughter in the family who spoke English.  She was trying to get my cell phone number.  As soon as I started to give it, the orphanage director stepped in and stopped it.  Then the family asked for my e-mail address and the director intervened again.  It is very apparent to us that the government does not want any direct contact with the foster families.  The director told us we could communicate with the orphanage and they would pass that along.

Directors and social work of TICW

After meeting the foster family, one of the directors and the social worker gave me a tour of the orphanage.  I was not allowed to take pictures, but was allowed to look into all the rooms.  They had six nurseries with babies progressing from newborn to about three to four years of age.  Each child had his or her own crib and there was one nanny per ten to twelve children.  The rooms were all clean and painted with stickers on the wall.  The children appeared to be in clean clothes and well cared for.  However, there are no words to explain what it is like to see these children all lying in their cribs.  In one room, there was an older boy (maybe three or four) standing up in his crib.  The director made an offhanded remark that he was silly boy who got into lots of trouble.  I looked into his eyes and all I saw was a longing to be free and run and play whenever he wanted.

Gifts for the officials and toys for the orphanage

The orphanage also had a library, a play room, and two physical therapy rooms for children with cerebral palsy and other physical special needs.  There was also an outside play place.  My hope is that these children get out of their cribs in the evening (we have noticed cities come alive about 6:00 pm when it cools down).  However, I know in my heart, that these babies are probably not out of their cribs for more than a couple hours a day.  It is heart breaking to know that even in a very nice orphanage such as this one, every one of these children is in desperate need of a family.  Overall, I was very happy to see that the donations to this orphanage (coming from every family who adopts from Taiyuan) appear to be used wisely in investments for the children’s well being.

Please join us as we pray for the children at the Taiyuan Institute of Children Welfare.  Also, please continue to pray for us.  At the end of the meeting, the foster mom came outside looking for Norah and Norah spotted her.  This set us back and Norah has been crying a lot tonight.  By this point in the journey, we are quite exhausted both emotionally and physically and continue to covet your prayers.

Eating the corn from her foster mom

Introducing Norah Qian McMillan

Well, we got her!  Gotcha Day has been a day we have dreamed about for so long, it seems surreal that it is actually here.  On Monday morning at 10:00am, we walked into the Civil Affairs Office of Taiyuan.  Norah was already there with several Holt staff members.  Our gotcha moment caught us by surprise because we got her instantly.  I knelt down trying not to startle her and to control a rush of emotions.  Chris manned the camera.  

She was hesitant at first, but with prompting from the Holt staff, she came over to me.  Bashfully, she looked up and said, “Mama?”  We are lucky the water works didn’t start then and there.

She loves her little baby doll and started to kiss it right away on the head.  She has had a great role model of a loving family and we will forever be grateful for that.

We walked upstairs to the Holt offices.  I didn't realize this until later, but the bows on her dress the foster mother bought her matched the exact turquoise and coral in my shirt.  

Here we are in the Taiyuan Holt offices getting ready to sign the first set of paperwork.  You may not be able to see the tears glistening in my eyes, but I had started to cry a bit.  All of the sudden, Norah got tears in her eyes too.  One of the Holt officials chided me a bit to get a hold of myself because Norah was reacting to my tears.  The people in China really are more composed than Americans, so I quickly pulled myself together! It is amazing for me to think that Norah is already so aware of her surroundings.

Our first official family photo for completion of the paperwork.

Here Norah and I are goofing off while we wait for our official family photograph to be processed.  Our Holt escort, Lisa, looks on in the background.  We have only known Lisa for twenty-four hours and can say she is a godsend.

This little girl definitely knows how to capture peoples' attention!  Here she is toasting Lisa over lunch.  Lisa told us that people were commenting on how pretty she was everywhere we went.  She walks with a little swagger and will sometimes nod her head from side to side.  Norah is also very independent.  She poured her own drink and served herself lunch!

After lunch, the three of us went back to the hotel.  Things had been going so well, I think we were lulled into a false sense of security.  Up until then, Norah had been cuddling with me, kissing me, blowing my kisses, playing peek-a-boo and was definitely headed down the path to be a mama's girl. However, when I tried to lay her down for a nap, she started screaming for her mama (her foster mom).  

I will write more later about "her other mom," but let me tell you now that we know she gave her heart and soul to the girl she knew as Jian Qian or "Qian Qian" as they affectionately called her. We are keeping her middle name Qian (it means "graceful, beautiful girl" and is pronounced by substituting the /k/ sound of "q" for a /ch/ sound) as a tribute to the woman who raised our daughter for two and one half years.  Norah would not let me hold her or comfort her and eventually cried herself to sleep in Chris' arms.  Although we knew this time of grieving is an important time and indeed, is a very good sign that Norah can attach very strongly, it is heartbreaking to hear a two year old sob her heart out.  We are not be able to explain to her what is happening and cannot even offer words of comfort in her language. Please pray that we will seek the Lord's strength in this time and will be renewed through Him.  Please pray for comfort and peace for a little girl who is longing for the only family she has ever known.

Beijing

We spent two and one half days in Beijing, the City of Peace.  For a city containing twenty million people, it is surprisingly peaceful.  It is loud and sometimes very chaotic, but you rarely see anger or rage exhibited even though people are frequently jostled about.  One thing that was definitely a bit of a shock was the driving.  I have never seen anything like it.  There were very few traffic signals at intersections and even when there were signals, they were often disregarded.  Imagine a six-way intersection without traffic signals and you will understand why driving in Beijing feels like a constant game of chicken.  We learned it was best to try to ignore traffic and concentrate on the conversation within the vehicle.  Crossing the road was something entirely different.  You had to be very vigilant or you would be hit.  There is no such thing as pedestrian right of way and we quickly figured out that crossing with a group was the safest bet.  My strategy was to hide behind someone bigger and taller (usually Chris) as we weaved our way around vehicles.

We were very thankful to meet a wonderful couple also adopting through Holt.  We met them on the first day and were very grateful for their company and expertise (they had learned a few lessons since they had arrived in Beijing several days prior to our arrival).  It was exciting to learn that they were adopting a son from the province right next to Norah’s.  We are already talking an arranged marriage. :) Even more surprising was to find out that they are from El Paso, TX which is a city forty minutes away from Las Cruces.  We hope to keep in contact with them and greatly enjoyed our time together!

Climbing with our Holt counterparts

The first day, we all went on a guided tour to the Ju Yong Guan Great Wall, to a jade factory, and around the Old Beijing.  Climbing the Great Wall was quite the experience.  Honestly, I was expecting more of a brisk walk and instead of a fairly steep climb up uneven steps.  By the time we got to the top, even with many rests on the way, I thought my legs were going to rebel.  However, the view was worth it!

The air quality is often very poor.

A bit sweaty, but we made it to our destination!

We saw amazing works of art at the jade factory.

We ate at a Mongolian Hot Pot restaurant for dinner.  You boiled meat, vegetables, and noodles in that steaming pot of soup.  A fun, but time intensive way to eat.





The second day we went on a guided tour to Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and through a silk factory.  We bumped shoulders on this day with probably several hundred thousand people.  I have never seen so many people in one place in my life.  One tenth of Beijing has approximately the same amount of people as the entire state of New Mexico, so you can imagine that a popular tourist spot like Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City would be packed.  In China, people don't stand in orderly lines.  Getting through crowds is usually a contact sport.  Hopefully we will remember to stop shouldering our way through crowds once we get back to the United States.

Tiananmen Square

The Forbidden City is very expansive and is magnificent to see in person.  These pictures do not even begin to do it justice.

The buildings are very intricate and beautiful.  You will just have to come see for yourselves!

Stretching silk to make a comforter.  Oh how I wanted one!  Next time I go to China, it better be as a millionaire.






We loved the city of Beijing and hope to go back.  We left for Taiyuan in the Shanxi province today.  The best part of trip is yet to come!  Tomorrow, we get our Norah.  I think about the years we have longed for her, even before we knew about her, and I am incredibly humbled that the Lord has brought us to this place. Please pray that Norah will be able to understand a little of what is going on and that we will have a peaceful transition.

The Crazy Catch-up Post

Hello there.  I haven't been blogging regularly for a while now.  Our life has been a tad busy lately.  Let's see.  Within the last week, we moved from the city where we lived for eleven years.  We bought a new house.  And last, but definitely not least, traveled to China to adopt our daughter Norah!  So needless, to say, blogging has taken the back burner for quite some time as we prepared for all these life changes.  While I would love to tell you more about the move and our new house, that will have to wait.  We are in full adoption mode so I will just give you the abbreviated version of how we ended up sitting in a hotel room in Beijing, China.

We received our travel approval on July 3rd.  However, we still need to wait for our travel dates based on visa appointments available from the U.S. Consulate.  We received confirmation July 12th that we would be able to travel.  Several days later, we received our in-country itinerary and were able to book flights leaving July 31st.  We were already scheduled to close on our new house on July 30th, so we were cutting it close.  Thankfully, we were vigilant in completing paperwork, had a great real estate broker and lender who put out fires, and were able to stay on track.  So, I quite my job on Friday, we moved on Saturday, closed on our house on Tuesday, and left for China early Wednesday morning.

This left very little time for packing, but fortunately I have a gracious mother who let me spread things on the dining room table and couch so I could pack in an organized fashion.  So far it seems the only thing I forgot to pack was my foundation and I was able to find a bottle of over-priced Maybelline at an department store in Beijing.  It was difficult to know what exactly to pack, so I am keeping a running list of what has been important to have and what has been extra weight.  That way I will know for next time!

We kissed our baby girls good-bye at 4:45am and arrived in Beijing at 9:45pm the next day.  We flew from LAX to Seoul, Korea and then to Beijing, China.  Flying with Korea Air was a great experience.  If you have to be on a plane for twelve and a half hours at one time, you should definitely be on one where they provide hot towels before dinner.  By the time we arrived at our hotel, we had been up for about twenty-four hours and ready for a good nights sleep!

Waiting to Leave for Seoul

After a full night's sleep, we felt like new people.  Well, almost!  So, now you know how we came to be in a hotel in Beijing, China.  I will post more on what we have been doing the last couple of days tomorrow.

Reflections on Faith

Today is a special day. I finally have time to blog again and a way to blog. Today is my birthday (well it was my birthday when I wrote this, but a couple of days have passed now) and that seemed the perfect excuse to take the day off from work and catch up on, well, everything.

Since I have a thousand and one things to accomplish today, I did the logical thing and went to Starbucks first thing this morning and ordered a venti mocha and set out to accomplish a to do list as long as my arm. First things first, post on my sadly neglected blog. So, I turned on my favorite Pandora station set to praise music or “God music” as my girls call it. Breathing a sigh of relief, I settled down in a comfortable chair with my mocha and started to write. Then, my computer crashed. Interestingly enough, my computer’s hard drive completely crashed back in September which played a big role in my absence from blogging. Hmm, not sure what to think about this. Fortunately, after running some diagnostic software, my computer is up and running again.

Another bump in this long road called life. Just one small bump is no biggie, but our life is starting to feel like an off-roading experience. We have had a lot of bumps in the road this year, but I am clinging to the promise that God has not forgotten our family. I love “As Long as You are Glorified” by Mark Altrogge and sing it often. If you do not have this song in your playlist, trust me, you should! “Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings, Yet not welcome any pain. Shall I thank You for days of sunshine, yet grumble in days of rain. Shall I love you in times of plenty, then leave You in days of drought. Shall I trust when I reap the harvest, but when in winter winds blow then doubt?”

In my own life, I see an interesting pattern arising. I have more faith during the bigger trials we are called to face and exhibit a dismal lack of faith during the smaller trials. For example, when we found out about my retinal disorder, I have found great peace in drawing on the promises of a God who provides light in a dark world. When both of our laptops crashed in the course of several months, I pouted like a two-year-old who just had their sucker stolen. When we received a referral for a child with significantly more special needs than we had initially expected, Chris and I prayed and again were at peace (more on that story to come!). However, when our car engine seized up and we unexpectedly had to buy a new vehicle, you might have mistaken me for a toddler!

Is it because the large obstacles are so insurmountable that I can’t think about conquering them without Christ? Is it because when the problems are less significant, I still think I retain some semblance of control over the situation?

Whatever the reason, my prayer is that this year I will exhibit faith through all situations! God is our God through the sunshine as well as the snow, rain, and wind (which, if you live in NM, you will know that is way worse than rain or snow!). He is God through the cars and computers breaking down and through our bodies breaking down. He is God and He is always good.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.
(2 Corinthians 4:7-12 ESV)

Versatile Side Table

My side table is one of the first thing people see when they come into our home. My parents asked us what we would like for Christmas a couple of years back and that table was the perfect piece of furniture to fill the empty spot in our entry way. When we first set it up, my husband thought it would be the perfect dumping ground for keys, sunglasses, mail, and the like.

I gently (at least I hope so) reminded him that it would be the first thing anyone entering our house would see and asked that we try to keep it clutter free. Unfortunately, it still become a hot spot in our home. The only way to keep it clutter free is to do a quick sweep before bed every night. So, to keep myself motivated to keep it clean, I try to change out the decor somewhat regularly. Also, I try to find a spot in our budget for fresh flowers every other week because they do a great job of brightening up the decor. This is a picture of our side table right now.



Here is the side table decorated for our annual kid's cookie decorating party.



This side table also doubles as a buffet when we are serving food to big groups of people. Sometimes we pull it away from the wall and two lines can form so everyone gets their food quickly. This is the side table loaded with food for our Cowgirl Party.


It is great to have such a versatile piece of furniture!

Also, to celebrate the marriage of my little brother to a very sweet girl, I would like to give away a $25 Target gift card. Target is always my go-to place for wedding gifts or gift cards for newlyweds, so it seems fitting that you should have the chance to get one too! Have any of you wished you could re-register all over again (it especially hit me this year as our ten year wedding anniversary is coming up)? Well, here is your chance to replace one of those old appliances. :)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here is a picture of the groom dancing with one of his adorable flower girls, our little Adelyn.

Stopping to Smell the Roses